This Year, Make Your Resolutions Stick!
Why New Years Resolutions Don’t Stick:
1.) We have unconscious resolutions not to change our ways. We make unconscious commitments every day to keep things exactly the way they are. Change? Hmm… we’re creatures of habit and the idea of change sounds nice, yet our unconscious mind is great at keeping a kung fu grip to keep our identity and ego as solid as possible.
2.) There is a deeper meaning underneath! We don’t have self-destructive behaviors because we’re weak, or because of our genes, or because of everyone else, or because of our neurobiology. The meaning beneath these behaviors is unconscious! We develop these patterns because they serve our unconscious needs and beliefs. These beliefs are important reference points to our egos, and important building blocks of our identities. They help us feel safe, and to change them is a threat to our safety.
3.) The WHY is not big enough. When resolutions are made, they are often not thought out thoroughly. For example. If your goal is to lose 15 lbs, there are many factors that will affect achieving this goal. Why do you want to lose 15 lbs? Will it help you fit into those clothes you have in your closet you haven’t worn in 2 years? Will it help you feel better about yourself? Will help you keep up with your jogging buddies? What is your WHY behind the resolution or goal!?
How To Make Your Resolutions Stick and Achieve Your Goals:
1.) Take the time to think about about how this new behavior will affect your life, relationships, and your health. Be curious about yourself, why you’ve always done things a certain way. Reflect on a resolution you had in the past that didn’t work and acknowledge it. Don’t tuck it under the rug. Be real with yourself and why that goal didn’t work out. Start focusing on the road ahead.
2.) Know your WHY! If you don’t have a good sense of why you’re doing it, other than, “It sounds like a good thing to do” then you’re off to a rough start! If your WHY is big enough, then anything is possible. Write it down! Underneath the resolution, write down why you’re doing it. Example:
To have an amazing exercise habit of at least 30 minutes a day/5 days a week:
I’ll feel better at work and be more productive.
I’ll improve my stamina with more exercise and my body loves it.
I’ll be more cheerful and more connected in my relationships.
I’ll add more structure in my day.
To connect with nature and being outdoors exercising more often will allow me to do so.
I’ll be more fit, feel better within myself, and serve more people.
I’ll increase my metabolism and be more adaptable to stress.
I deserve to spend more time with myself and my self-care.
3.) The magic is in the words! Focus on what you want, versus what you don’t want! If your resolutions are, “I don’t want to watch as much tv.” or “I don’t want a lousy sex life.” Read your resolutions outloud…do you feel expansive when you hear it? Or do you feel yourself close down and compress? How you feel in your body will help you tap into the vibration of the words. ”I’m going to be more productive at home.” vs. “I don’t want to lose focus when I need to get more work done.” Breathe and expand with your goals. Feel it in your body. If you can’t feel it, you can’t be with it. Therefore, you can’t change with it. “I’m going to take action and feel this in my body.”
4.) Understand what it will take to achieve your goal. You’ll need to understand what it will take in order for you to achieve a resolution and make it a lasting behavior change. If you’re a structure driven person, You’ll need to evaluate the structures of your life and make a conscious effort to create a plan or map that will give you every opportunity to succeed. For example… if your goal is to go to the indoor climbing gym with your buddies 1 night a week and you’re married with kids, you’ll probably need to discuss this one with your partner. You’ll need to look at the amount of time it will take you to do this and why it will be good for you. Know that your previous structures, behaviors, or perceptions will need to reorganize and shift in order for you to have a new strategy to make your resolution work and serve you best in life.
5.) Align your goals with your values and standards of integrity. Do you know what you value most in life? What will you never do because you know that it is definitely not who you are? Being in alignment with your goals is important for success. The journey to accomplishing your goal needs to be an authentic expression of yourself. Goals that are not in alignment with you are are doomed to fail because they are missing that magical energetic essence of YOU. Your recipe for success will be your will, your why, and your alignment.
6.) Make it fun and rewarding! Maybe there’s a belief you have that change isn’t fun, that working towards a goal is tedious and boring. Maybe you’ve been operating from a place of fear because you know if you actually accomplish it, that deep down you’ll be a different person and you’re not sure if people will see you, accept you, and acknowledge you in the ways you’ve grown accustomed to. Maybe you have a story that you never succeed in achieving your goals so why create them? Get on board this year with a fun new perspective. You deserve to make your resolutions enjoyable and give yourself little rewards along the way. Tell your friends or family about your successes along your journey and invite them to celebrate with you. Be clear that a lasting resolution is like running a marathon and not a sprint. Celebrate your goals during the pursuit and not just at completion. Your body-mind needs to know you’re in charge, having fun, and affirming your success in motion.
Do you have a success strategy you’d like to share that works for you?
Do you have a resolution you’d like to share with us? We’d love to hear from you and be of support… Please share.
Here’s to you, and your new year of success!
~Bjorn Bostrom, DC